A few thoughts before bedtime..
When you approach a door, you just try the handle, it doesn't matter if it's locked or not, within a few seconds you will be through. I however, used to notice the lock, because that was my first hurdle, if it was too hard to open, i wouldn't get to the handle. I even miss those days now.
One day I was making a lot of saliva and wanted to spit it out, so I asked my carer for a bowl, but she couldn't understand what i was saying, and got my toilet bottle instead, these shared frustrations.
Speaking of frustrations, any normal person, wakes up and showers, gets dressed, has breakfast and walks out the door, probably done in a half an hour. It takes me four hours to do the same thing and thats with the aid of a helper.
The more help I need the less independence I have, to visit people and places, which has always been a big part of my soul.
I miss eggs on toast, spaghetti bolognese, cheese toasties, pizza, meat. I'm basically a vegetarian these days. Beer, I'd love a beer, it tastes so good but it makes me salivate too much.
TV is a distraction from the outside world.
In all my dreams I still have the use of my legs and arms.
I sometimes dream if I was well again, how would I start my day and what would I do? If I had just one day, to be alright again. Go for a surf, come home make myself bacon and eggs on toast, coffee, a shower, get dressed, set up my drum kit, have a bash for an hour, head to a pub for chicken parmigiana and a cold beer, come home have a nap on whatever side i want, wake up, jump in my car, maybe meet with a girlfriend and enjoy some long awaited hugs and kisses.
The best things in life are free.